Sometimes after having a baby, or during pregnancy, you might find that your mental health has become too challenging to manage by yourself and your doctor or psychiatrist will recommend you be admitted as an inpatient into hospital.
In some cases, there will be a bed available at a specialised Parent Infant Mental Health Unit, (sometimes known as a Mother-Baby Unit) but often these are unavailable due to high demand and very limited number of units, so instead you may be recommended to a hospital that has a place available for you.
In most cases, you baby won’t be able to stay overnight with you, but some hospitals offer a family area where you might be able to spend part of the day with your baby and other family members.
Remember, the best way you can care for your baby is to focus on getting well yourself.
Helpful Information
Clare’s story: a hospital admission to a mental health unit
Questions to ask
What to expect: some questions to ask your hospital during intake
- What types of support and treatment will I be offered during a stay?
- How long will I be there?
- What should I bring with me?
- Can I have visitors during my stay?
- Can I leave during the day or on the weekends?
- Who cares for my baby while I’m in there?
- Will I get my own room?
- What happens when I go home?
Bonding with your baby
How will I bond with my baby during my inpatient stay?
Being admitted without your baby might not be your choice and may feel very upsetting but you can continue to bond with your baby as a loving parent while you focus on getting better.
Here are some ways you can bond with your baby during your time apart:
- Cuddle one of your baby’s comforter toys overnight and then ask a family member to return the comforter to baby so they can smell you
- Record some videos of you talking or singing so that family members can play these to your baby and they can hear your voice
- Talk to the hospital to see if they allow family visits. They may be able to provide you a suitable space to spend time with your baby during the day.
- Try to remember that you will have plenty of time to bond with your baby once you are well. Your baby won’t remember the time you are in hospital, but they will treasure their time with you, as their mum, once you are well enough to be home with them.
Practical tips
Practical tips for your inpatient stay
- Ask your family to help you advocate for yourself. Remember that this is your journey, and you have the right to ask questions and make decisions.
- Keep a journal or notebook and as thoughts pop up, write them down. This will help you to be able to communicate with your loved ones and doctors about your thoughts and feelings.
- Stay connected with your family and friends.
- Prioritise getting as much sleep as you can.
- Try to feel reassured that this time will pass and you won’t be in hospital forever.
- Do your best to find the right psychiatrist/psychologist who you feel comfortable with. Trust can take time to build. Try to remember that the staff are there to support you and they care about your wellbeing. It’s okay to start slowly and to build a relationship with the staff you feel most comfortable with.
Partners and family
Partner and family support
Your family may feel overwhelmed by what is happening as they try their best to support you. Many family members are doing their best to put on a brave face, but families need support too. If you're a support person (family or friend) and want to talk through how you’re feeling including different support options, please reach out to PANDA on 1300 726 306.
If you have older children, it’s best to tell them that you need to go to hospital, just like you would if you had a physical injury or illness and needed care. Try to provide some age-appropriate information about why you are in hospital as well as reassurance that you’re being looked after by the doctors and nurses and that as soon as you’re feeling better you will be back home again.
Sometimes it might feel like the people around you are saying or doing the wrong things and trying to ‘fix’ your problems for you. Remember that these people love you and are trying to make you feel better, even though they might not know how. PANDA can help you talk through these situations.
It’s okay for you to ask your support people not to say or do certain things. It is also okay to ask the people around you for the type of help you need from them. For example, you could say, “It would really help me if we could sit quietly together,” or “What I need right now is just a hug”.
Going home
What happens when I go home?
When you go home you will gently continue to care for yourself. This may include continuing to take medication and attending regular appointments with your mental health care providers, such as counsellors and psychiatrists. You may attend an outpatient parents’ support group and may receive some home visits too.
Some parents may choose to limit their surroundings to one room of their house when they return home. This can help to maximise bed rest and avoid feeling like you need to become involved with the daily running of the household straight away.
Learn to ask for help when you feel you need it. Often the people around you want to help but don’t know how. It’s okay to ask a family member to look after baby so you can have a nap or a shower, or even go for a walk.
Others may opt to live with extended family for a few weeks or months, where possible, so that they can have some help as they continue their recovery journey.
Keep taking your medication even if you feel like you are getting better.
Everyone’s recovery journey is different, it takes time to slowly adjust to life as a parent after an inpatient stay. Feeling supported and encouraged can allow you to take small steps.
Supporting your wellbeing
You may find it helpful to:
- Understand which situations set off challenging feelings for you (e.g. baby crying or leaving the house)
- Figure out your priorities (e.g. a full night’s sleep or a morning shower)
- Treat yourself with compassion, just like you would care for a good friend.
- Practise self-care such as exercise, mindfulness and journal writing
- Be honest with your loved ones and medical team about how you’re feeling.
- Try to plan for and incorporate one small thing into each day you can look forward to. It might be a walk to the local coffee shop or sitting outside with a cup of tea. Simple things that bring you even the slightest amount of joy can make a big difference.
- Remember to take things one day at a time. Some days might feel harder than others - try to hold onto the hope that you will get better.
- It might be helpful for you and your loved ones if you have a Wellbeing Plan written down in case you experience concerning changes to your mental health one day. See below for some ideas of what to put in your Wellbeing Plan. Having a Wellbeing Plan puts you in control and helps your loved ones know what to do.
Useful questions for your wellbeing plan:
- What affects my mood, increases distress, makes me overwhelmed? E.g baby crying, arguments with my partner, not enough sleep.
- Who do I want to tell if I experience concerning changes to my mental health?
- What do I want people to do, what actions need to be taken etc.?
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