Can you tell us a bit about your experience with intrusive thoughts? When did they start, and what made you realise they were a problem?
After my baby was born, I began having intrusive thoughts that someone was going to break into the house and harm the baby and our family. I had no evidence or reason for these thoughts to occur and no control over when the thoughts would come. I was repetitively checking house doors and external gates to make sure they were locked - sometimes even at 3am in the rain after feeding the baby (despite checking them hours earlier). On hot days, I was also closing windows after my partner opened them because I couldn't stop worrying people being able to gain access to the house. It wasn't until I had an assessment done through a perinatal mental health service at a local hospital that I learned these were considered intrusive thoughts.
When you experienced intrusive thoughts, was there anything that made the thoughts worse?
Engaging in behaviours related to the intrusive thoughts felt like it was helping me because it would temporarily ease my fears. However, looking back, I think constantly engaging in these activities ultimately made the thoughts worse.
Was there anything you found helped to calm or soothe yourself?
Engaging in distracting techniques, however small, helped to redirect my attention to a more positive thought and activity. For example: getting a drink from the fridge, patting the dog or putting the TV on. Redirecting my attention helped to start a healthier pattern of managing what was going on inside my head.
Did you experience any barriers to telling someone about the thoughts you were having, or to seeking support from a healthcare provider?
I shared my intrusive thoughts with my partner and she was supportive, but unfortunately the thoughts were so real to me that it didn't matter what she said to contest them. Feeling embarrassed about how scared I was, I started to recheck locks in secret. I didn’t know it at the time, but looking back I realise these behaviours were causing me to emotionally isolate myself from others.
Partners and family members don’t often get much support postpartum, and even the most supportive partners can benefit from information and professional support. I think better education and support could have helped my partner to safely challenge my intrusive thoughts and behaviours.
What helped the most, in terms of managing your intrusive thoughts?
Being kind to myself, acknowledging that I was going through a lot, and having hope that things would get better in time.
Helpful Information
Intrusive thoughts during the transition to parenthood
PANDA National Helpline
Find someone to talk to, Monday to Saturday.
1300 726 306
Call 000 for police and ambulance if you or someone else are in immediate danger
Talk with friends or family
Consider talking about how you are feeling with someone you trust. This might be a friend or family member. Once you starting talking you might be surprised at how many others have had similar experiences and the support they can provide you.
Talk with your doctor
Talking with your doctor can be an important step to getting the help you need. They should be able to give you non-judgemental support, assessment, diagnosis, and ongoing care and treatment. They can also refer you to specialists such as a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.
Get help now
If you are having suicidal thoughts or are feeling disorientated it’s important to get help immediately. PANDA is not a crisis service, if you need immediate support call Lifeline 13 11 14 (24/7).
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