Throughout my life I have struggled with my mental health, and as a result I have used alcohol as a coping mechanism.
Mental health and alcohol use during the perinatal period
From the moment I fell pregnant, my mental health deteriorated, and rapidly got worse after my daughter was born. Although I was struggling with antenatal depression, I did not use alcohol whilst pregnant. However, after my daughter was born, it yet again became a go to.
I never received any advice regarding alcohol use before or after pregnancy - despite health professionals knowing I struggled with alcohol use in the past, and it was usually when my mental health deteriorated.
I have seen conflicting information on social media, where some people think that it is okay, and others don't. I made the choice not to drink at all during pregnancy, because I knew whatever I was ingesting affects my baby too.
After the birth, I didn't feel connected to anyone -especially my daughter. I would spend days in bed and in the evenings, I would have a drink. I didn't drink to get drunk -I never have -but I needed something that made me chill. At the time, I thought it was making me feel better. Although it was never a huge amount of alcohol, it was the frequency and secrecy.
I was connected with the perinatal mental health team whilst pregnant and I think that made me stay on track. However, after my daughter was born I no longer had that support. I struggled majorly to the point of severe self-harm and suicidal ideation. And so, alcohol became the go to - I did what got me through.
Finding the right support
I had a three week stay in the mother and baby mental health unit. I learned new techniques and during that time, I didn't have a single drink.
“It took a lot of effort in that time, and I had to be brutally honest about what was going on for me.”
But I’ve always believed honesty is the best policy, and if I hadn't been honest, I wouldn't have got the help I needed. Through sheer determination, I was able to stay on track. However, I relapsed earlier this year. I am now seeking further professional support. Alcohol is one of those things: Dependency creeps up on you and before you know it, it's hard to say no.
A message for parents
One of the tips that has helped me, was making sure I had stock of my favourite non-alcoholic drink so when I fancied a drink, I would drink that instead. However, seeking professional help from a doctor, psychologist or even at the hospital has been the best support.
If you think you may have a problem, please speak to someone.