It’s important to recognise signs that someone may not be coping.
Many people present ‘well’ during healthcare provider interactions but may be feeling overwhelmed underneath a mask of coping. You may notice changes to an expecting or new parent’s appearance, such as their body language and nonverbal expression, dress and personal hygiene. Or you may sense a change in the way they interact and communicate.
“Listen for statements that suggest they’re having a hard time. I don’t know what I’m doing, I didn’t think it would be like this, judgemental of themselves, feeling that they should be acting differently.”
What to listen for
Statements like these indicate someone might need extra support:
- “This isn’t what I expected at all.”
- “I don’t feel a connection to my unborn baby – is that normal?”
- “I feel so tired and teary all the time.”
- “I can’t seem to switch off – there’s this feeling that something is horribly wrong.”
- “After the birth experience we had, I don’t want anyone else to care for my baby.”
- “I’ve lost my appetite/I’m craving junk food, that usually happens when I’m stressed.”
Gently explore all signs of change by asking the person how they are feeling as the conversation progresses and allowing space. Silence can be an opportunity for someone to share more.
What to look for
- Nausea, headache, pain or other physical symptoms
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions, increased forgetfulness or distractedness
- Changes to body language, being hesitant to speak, or teary
- Overwhelming exhaustion or low energy
- Restlessness and agitation
- Altered speech patterns- speaking more slowly or quickly.
Allow space for other beliefs and values in your care conversations. For example, in many cultures it’s a measure of respect when people avert their eyes or look down. In Western culture this might be interpreted as someone feeling withdrawn, bored, or anxious. Mental health can shift rapidly during pregnancy and early parenthood, so looking for signs and encouraging open conversation at every appointment and interaction is important.
“I felt like I was drowning and there was no way out. I just wanted someone to see and pull me out.”
PANDA Helpline
The PANDA Helpline provides counselling, referral and peer support from parents who have been through similar challenges. When someone calls, they will speak with a counsellor who understands the challenges of being a new or expecting parent. They will listen with kindness and compassion and together they will work out a way forward. Helpline staff can also provide access to appropriate specialist services.
If you are concerned for someone's safety, it’s vital that you seek immediate help by contacting either a local acute mental health service or your nearest hospital’s emergency department. You can also contact PANDA for advice and support. If you believe that someone’s life is at immediate risk, then call 000.
Helpful Information
Recognising the signs of perinatal mental health challenges
Factsheets
PANDA National Helpline
Find someone to talk to, Monday to Saturday.
1300 726 306
Call 000 for police and ambulance if you or someone else are in immediate danger
Talk with friends or family
Consider talking about how you are feeling with someone you trust. This might be a friend or family member. Once you starting talking you might be surprised at how many others have had similar experiences and the support they can provide you.
Talk with your doctor
Talking with your doctor can be an important step to getting the help you need. They should be able to give you non-judgemental support, assessment, diagnosis, and ongoing care and treatment. They can also refer you to specialists such as a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.
Get help now
If you are having suicidal thoughts or are feeling disorientated it’s important to get help immediately. PANDA is not a crisis service, if you need immediate support call Lifeline 13 11 14 (24/7).
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