Overwhelmed. Overstimulated. Touched out. Distracted and agitated. Senses can feel so raw sometimes – like an exposed nerve. You might feel like you want to:
- Explode in anger
- Freeze, or run away and hide
- Scream and cry
- Disconnect and withdraw from your thoughts, feelings and stressful situations
If you are neurodiverse, you have a brain that processes and reacts to sensory information from your environment differently from the brains of people who are not neurodivergent (also called neurotypical).
In our busy, chaotic world it can be hard to support our own wellbeing and sensory support needs. When you’re pregnant or caring for a baby, looking after yourself and your bub may feel extra tricky.
We’ve put together this guide for you and other neurodiverse parents in our community, so you can build up a toolkit of useful self-soothing skills for all those times when everything feels too much.
You may find these sensory strategies helpful if you identify as neurodivergent or have strong sensory preferences.
This includes identifying with - or having a diagnosis of:
- Autism
- Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD)
- Tourette’s syndrome
- Sensory processing disorder
- Learning difficulties like dyslexia
- Mental health conditions like bipolar, post-traumatic stress, obsessive-compulsive disorder or social anxiety
- Acquired neurodivergent conditions like traumatic brain injury, multiple sclerosis, epilepsy and post-stroke difficulties.
You don’t need a diagnosed neurodivergent condition to use these skills – this guide is for anyone who struggles with sensory overload while pregnant or parenting.
Know how to tell when you’re becoming overwhelmed
Sensory overload happens when your brain is receiving more information from your environment than it’s able to process at once. This information can come in the form of smells, light, colour, sound and movement.
By identifying the signs that you are feeling overloaded, you’ve got a better chance of managing your responses to any stressful situation:
- Feeling suddenly attacked or assaulted by your senses.
- Intense urge to put as much distance between you and the source of stress (crowd, baby crying) as possible.
- Feelings of anxiety, panic.
- Feeling angry, irritable and agitated.
- Breathing problems, chest pain.
- Feeling like there’s a crushing weight bearing down on you, muscle tension.
- Stomach cramps, nausea, dizzy feeling.
- Brain ‘fog’, unable to gather your thoughts.
- Feeling like you’ve been zapped by an electrical current.
- Headache, migraine.
Common perinatal reasons for sensory overload include most daily tasks of parenthood – it’s an intense time of life. Physical changes in pregnancy including altered sight, hearing and tastebuds, healthcare appointments and being in clinical settings, giving birth, infant feeding, settling and soothing can all leave us feeling overstimulated.
Real stories
David’s story: Parenting as a neurodivergent dad
The benefits of ‘stimming’
Sensory overload can make you feel cranky, upset and overwhelmed. If you notice that you’re feeling overstimulated, self-stimulation or ‘stimming’ can help soothe your nervous system. Stimming uses repetitive activities to distract you from the source/s of discomfort, refocusing your energy on feeling relaxed and calm.
You could try:
1
Moving your body
2
Making soothing sounds
3
Touching or playing
Sensory re-set activities
You could try these strategies for each of your senses. Experiment and find the ones that work for you – there may be a few:
1
Sight
2
Hearing
3
Touch
4
Smell
5
Taste
6
Movement
Sensory overload can feel like you’re being chased by a tiger (or swarm of mosquitoes). Eating and drinking sends a signal to our nervous system that we are safe, with no need for alarm. In ancient times, nobody stopped for lunch when they were being chased by an animal. The ‘rest and digest’ approach is a great hack to use whenever you need to decompress.
“I feel much better when I’ve gone for a walk while listening to music or podcasts through my noise-cancelling headphones.”
Finding your favourite self-soothing activities
These may be some of your favourite activities or new things to explore. When we engage in our passions and interests it can help other sensory inputs to fade into the background.
If you’re a parent of older children, most of these can be shared activities. If parenting is making you feel over-stimulated, redirecting attention to a shared task may help reduce stress. If you have a partner or loved one who also cares for your child/ren, see if you can arrange to take turns parenting, with regular breaks for pleasurable sensory activity time.
Everyone will find different activities soothing. Here are a few you may like to try.
1
Art
2
Cooking for fun
3
Craft
4
Culture and entertainment
5
Easy puzzles
6
Nature
7
Self-care
Taking time to rest, and reaching out for help
If you’re in a state of sensory overload, it’s okay to need – and to take – some time to rest and re-set. You can try using a combination of the strategies we’ve listed to calm and soothe yourself. It’s also a good idea to seek support from others when everything feels overwhelming.
Support options include:
- Family and friends
- Your healthcare providers
- Free national helpline Autism Connect on 1300 308 699 (8am – 7pm weekdays)
- ADHD Foundation Australia Helpline on 1300 39 39 19
- PANDA Helpline
Looking after yourself and finding ways to manage sensory overload is also looking after your baby, and being the best parent you can be. If you’d like to have a chat about your parenthood experience as a neurodivergent person, you’re welcome to call PANDA any time.
PANDA is committed to providing neurodivergent-affirming support. Many of our Helpline counsellors and peer practitioners are neurodiverse, and parents. We understand how intensely challenging – and joyful! - pregnancy and parenthood can be. We’re here to support you, whenever you need us.
PANDA National Helpline
Find someone to talk to, Monday to Saturday.
1300 726 306
Call 000 for police and ambulance if you or someone else are in immediate danger
Talk with friends or family
Consider talking about how you are feeling with someone you trust. This might be a friend or family member. Once you starting talking you might be surprised at how many others have had similar experiences and the support they can provide you.
Talk with your doctor
Talking with your doctor can be an important step to getting the help you need. They should be able to give you non-judgemental support, assessment, diagnosis, and ongoing care and treatment. They can also refer you to specialists such as a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.
Get help now
If you are having suicidal thoughts or are feeling disorientated it’s important to get help immediately. PANDA is not a crisis service, if you need immediate support call Lifeline 13 11 14 (24/7).