Journeys to recovery: Social connection

Many parents speak of the tendency to withdraw from family and friends or other social outlets when experiencing perinatal anxiety and depression. In fact, social isolation can be one of the earliest signs that something is not quite right. For some, going out at all can become overwhelming.

Taking action to try to be with people rather than continuing to stay away takes courage and a decision to do the exact opposite of what feels natural or needed. It is not a comfortable place to have others see us not like our usual self. The rewards however can be great, such as access to laughter long forgotten or to feel soothed by the care and concern of others. If you don’t have anyone in your life right now who you feel can provide you with care and concern, it may be that you start to reach out – to your mothers group, a playgroup, or the local neighbourhood centre, to begin forming new and supportive friendships.

1. Take small steps at first. Begin to walk and talk your way toward increasing your options for support, such as:

• Pick up the phone and have an adult conversation with a friend or family member, or even a Helpline like ours.
• Arrange to meet a friend in the park to share a play date or lunch.

2. Make it manageable so that you have a good experience to motivate you next time.

3. Make it regular if possible and try to prioritise it as a vital part of your recovery. Often it is about making the little things in life matter.

Getting out and about: Playgroups

One of the first impacts of perinatal anxiety or depression can be a loss of confidence in being with other people and a feeling that others are coping a whole lot better than you are. At times like this it can be really hard to join a mother’s group and pretend that everything is OK when it feels anything but OK. Over time, and with support and treatment, you are likely to be in a better position to reach out for some company.

Supported Playgroups are a great start. These are safe environments to drop the ‘mask of coping’, receive parenting support, and engage in play with your child – to enjoy watching them laugh and play with others.

Alternatively, a local community playgroup organised and run by local parents might be a good fit, providing the opportunity to chat with other parents, engage with your child in activities you may not have considered at home, and provide and receive adult support and friendship. Your local council will have information on the playgroups in your area, and you can ask PANDA or your Child and Family Health (CaFH) nurse (known as Maternal and Child Health (MCH) nurses in Victoria) about supported options nearby.