In September 1979 I gave birth to twin boys - Benjamin and Daniel, after having gone into labour expecting one baby – my first. On admission to hospital the night before, a midwife came in to examine me and with a puzzled look on her face, announced that she was going to speak to the Doctor.
The next day I was taken to the delivery room where the staff immediately sent me off for an X-ray – (no ultrasound back then). The radiographer put up his X-ray and asked how my knitting was going.
There it was in front of me, two heads and two bodies.
Naturally, I was shocked and excited, the prospect of having two babies seemed wonderful at the time – I really had no idea what I was in for, as parents of twins/triplets can relate to.
A nurse wheeled me back to the delivery room where my husband (at the time) was waiting. He too was shocked but more astonished as to how our multiple pregnancy was misdiagnosed.
Forty-four years ago, Moorabbin Hospital (previous name), now Monash Health – in Bentleigh East, was new. The staff were not prepared this day for a multiple birth and called in Obstetricians and a Paediatrician from the Alfred Hospital.
The birth was traumatic and exhausting, and I was left to rest on the delivery table – covered in blankets, for what seemed like a long time. Back on the ward and 48 hours after giving birth, I knew there was something wrong with me. It started with uncontrollable crying, intrusive thoughts, restlessness, anxiety, and a panic attack.
The hospital organised for a psychiatrist to assess me. He said I should be ok as this would pass, and suggested I organise to have a couple of afternoons off a week from my babies.
After ten days in hospital, I was discharged to an After Care facility in Mont Albert, which was run by nuns. I cannot remember the name of the place, but it was particularly good, and I was able to rest and concentrate on my breast feeding – however, to no avail.
After another ten days I came home and struggled on for nine weeks feeling wretched. Finally, there was a diagnosis of post-natal depression from a lovely psychiatrist who said I would not get any worse than I was feeling at that moment.
“Those words were a great comfort for me.”
He was right, I started on antidepressant medication and slowly but surely, I recovered.
Feeling isolated with my illness, I desperately needed to speak with other mothers who had suffered or were suffering from post-natal depression. I contacted my Maternal and Child Health Nurse. I asked if she knew of any other mothers with this condition and could they ring me.
Ann rang and we met up that night in my home. Many things were discussed and over the next few days and weeks we decided that we wanted to reach out and help other women and start a support group – hence the beginnings of PANDA.
It was not long before we met a couple of other women eager to help, and in 1983 a committee was formed. These women also played a pivotal role in the early days of the organisation.
15 years after the birth of my twins I had a baby girl, Alexandra. This time I experienced no post natal depression.