Supporting the safety of a loved one struggling with their mental health
When you want to be a good support but you’re not sure how, PANDA is here to help. We’re sharing ways you can support the safety of a loved one who is struggling with their mental health.
As a partner or support person, it can be hard to know what to do when someone you love is experiencing distressing mental health or behavioural changes.
Sometimes reaching out for support yourself is the first step on the path to getting your loved one some help.
Helpful things you can do as a support person
Try to keep an eye out for any warning signs that your loved one may not be coping as well as usual. They may tell you that they’re having a hard time, or you may notice changes to their mood, thoughts or behaviour that cause you concern.
You may see that your loved one is struggling to look after themselves or their baby and need extra support. You may notice bonding and attachment issues as well.
Seek professional help immediately if you see or hear your loved one:
- Talking about thoughts of suicide, especially if they mention any plans they intend to carry through.
- Talking about urges to self-harm, or engaging in self-harm behaviour that puts themselves at physical risk (for example, cutting or hitting themselves).
- Talking about fears for their own or their baby’s safety due to someone else’s behaviour.
- Using substances excessively, including alcohol, prescription and/or illicit drugs.
- Unable to care for their baby due to their mental health. For instance, some new parents are so distressed in their mental health they cannot meet their baby’s physical or emotional needs. Some parents may think or talk about hurting themselves or their baby.
“I'm very lucky as I’ve got a great family, an excellent psychiatrist, a great GP and a great psychologist who all stick by me and support me greatly. If it wasn't for these people, I wouldn't be where I am today”
Important questions to ask your loved one
Family, friends, and health professionals need to be able to approach these areas of potential risk by gently asking direct questions and listening to any answers with curiosity and compassion. Expressing alarm or judgement may stop your loved one from confiding in you and being honest.
It’s important to know that being asked these questions won’t increase your loved one’s risk of carrying through with upsetting thoughts. Having a direct conversation about mental health risks can increase safety, as it gives you and your loved one a chance to talk about support options. Having an open and honest conversation can also bring a sense of relief to the person who is feeling overwhelmed and has been trying to manage everything by themselves.
For many people who are experiencing difficulties, it can be a relief to be asked these questions and have permission to speak honestly about their thoughts, – especially if their answers are received in an open, trusting and supportive way.
Some examples of questions to ask your loved one include:
1
Risk assessment questions
2
Safety planning questions
“Supportive professional care, and the love and assistance of my family, were the key to my recovery.”
Safety planning
If your loved one has responded to any of the questions above in a way that’s concerning, it’s important to encourage them to keep talking about how they’re feeling while you put a safe plan into action.
Recommended safety planning steps:
- Use PANDA’s Mental Health Safe Plan to contact professional support services via phone for guidance on what to do next.
- Arrange for your loved one to see their GP or a trusted health professional (e.g. psychologist, psychiatrist) as soon as possible for mental health assessment and support.
- Ensure you or another support person stays with your loved one and their baby until they receive professional mental health support.
If your loved one is having thoughts of harming themselves or their baby, it’s essential that someone else is there to care for the baby so your loved one can focus on looking after themselves. Do not leave your loved one alone with their baby until professional support has been organised and accessed.
If the risk is more immediate, your loved one and their baby may need to be admitted to hospital via ambulance and emergency department. You may want to drive them to the nearest hospital emergency department yourself.
Always call 000 if you need emergency support.
PANDA National Helpline
Find someone to talk to, Monday to Saturday.
1300 726 306
Call 000 for police and ambulance if you or someone else are in immediate danger
Talk with friends or family
Consider talking about how you are feeling with someone you trust. This might be a friend or family member. Once you starting talking you might be surprised at how many others have had similar experiences and the support they can provide you.
Talk with your doctor
Talking with your doctor can be an important step to getting the help you need. They should be able to give you non-judgemental support, assessment, diagnosis, and ongoing care and treatment. They can also refer you to specialists such as a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.
Get help now
If you are having suicidal thoughts or are feeling disorientated it’s important to get help immediately. PANDA is not a crisis service, if you need immediate support call Lifeline 13 11 14 (24/7).